


It's Compulsive

by SeanSlept



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Barry has OCPD, Hurt/Comfort, I got an idea so I am going to write a relationship with this, Idk if I'm going to write a relationship with it, It's different from OCD, It's more compulsive actions than needing things to be clean, It's not the same for everyone, OCPD, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, This is just my experience with OCPD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-01 04:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11478579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeanSlept/pseuds/SeanSlept
Summary: Barry develops OCPD and takes extremes to put himself at ease.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Um I wasn't sure who I should make Barry in a relationship with so I'm going to leave that to the comments. I'll write with any other Flash character.
> 
> This fic includes OCPD, and is not the same for every person with the disorder. 
> 
> Someone said they wanted more fics and I had one written so this is what I'll give.

Barry watched the sidewalk beneath his feet, normally he wouldn’t notice these things but lately he could feel every crack through the sole of his shoe. It started by stepping over the lines. It didn’t make him any more late to work than he normally was. It turned into making sure he stepped in every square four times before stepping over the line. He would be a couple minutes later than normal. It wasn’t a big deal. Sometimes he’d feel an nonuniform crack in the arch of his foot, then he’d stop walk back to the previous crack he stepped over and start walking again. He was very late now. He would step twice on the asphalt one step in the white rectangles of the crosswalk. Two steps, one step, two steps, one step. On this particular morning Barry hadn’t stepped on a crack and didn’t have to walk back. But yet here he is, two blocks from the precinct late. He hadn’t run into this problem before.

There across the whole sidewalk for about sixteen squares was sand. It didn’t seem like a major issue to anyone else, they were walking across it but Barry knew he’d feel it under his feet. He thought about turning around and walking around the block but he noticed three of the squares he’d already walked over were different sizes. Meaning he would have to adjust his step once again to each square.

“Why is there so much sand here?” He questioned someone who came to a stop next to him. The man looked to Barry and shrugged before looking to the sand again.

“Why did you stop?” the man asks.

“I can feel the sand through my shoes. Just like the cracks.” Barry explained, “It sounds weird but I can’t turn around. Three squares on the sidewalk are different sizes. I’d have to adjust my step because of it.” The man listened carefully.

“So now what?” the man asks and Barry thought more.

“I guess I can just walk on it.” Barry said before walking over the sand. It felt wrong, like he shouldn’t be doing it. After he got across he felt like he could still feel it. He waved to the man on the other side of the sand. He made his way to the precinct where Singh was waiting angrily.

“ALLEN! You are almost an hour late.” Barry’s eyes widened and looked to his watch.

“It won’t happen again.” He said before running up to the lab and removing his shoes next to his desk. Barry shifted uneasily; he could still feel the sand.

\---

It’s gone past just cracks in the sidewalk. It’s gone to turning doorknobs twice before opening it on the second turn. Turning lights on, then off, and on, off, on, off, on. Having everything as symmetrical as possible. Ironing his laundry, making his bed perfectly. Everything has to be centered, and at a right angle so something else. Wearing corresponding colors, bought new shoes. Refurnish his apartment. It was three months of this when Joe approached him.

“Barry, can I talk to you?” Barry nodded and followed Joe to his desk at CCPD. They sat down, and for a full minutes Joe watched Barry shift until the chair was squared and facing directly at Joe’s. “Are you doing okay? It’s just you’ve been doing things you normally don’t do.” Joe said and Barry looked at him confused.

“Like iron you clothing, buy new shoes, wear matching outfits. Shift in your seat until it’s perfectly across from my own.” Joe points out and Barry looked to the ground.

“Well, it started with the lines. When I would walk to work, I could feel the cracks under my shoes so I started stepping over them. Then it turned into four steps per square. Now it’s like I notice everything that isn’t perfect.” Barry said and Joe nodded and hummed in thought.

“What happens if something isn’t perfect?” he asks and Barry shrugs.

“I can’t be too sure, I normally just fix it after the essential sense of panic.” Barry explains. Joe nods again, and sets his phone on the edge of his desk. It was crooked. Barry stared at it. The corner of the phone was hanging off the edge.  He shifts trying to not feel the need to fix it. It’s not right. It’s wrong. Barry reaches forward and rotates it. The small half-inch margin between the edge of the phone and the edge of the desk was even all around. 

“How much has this impacted your life, Barry?”

“I replaced all my furniture in my apartment, and all the items in my kitchen, got a new dresser, replaced the sink in the bathroom and redid the flooring.” Barry said and Joe gaped at him.

“Barry. You don’t have the money for that. How did you?”

“I had a friend help me. And used the majority of my salary toward it.” Joe continued to stare at Barry.

“How hadn’t I noticed?”

\---

Later that day Joe visited Barry who made sure he sat on the chair and not the couch, and fixed the pillows on the couch and arranged the blanket hanging off the back of it. Joe looked around in amazement. Barry stood nearby while he looked at everything, he sat down after a minute.

“Wow, you really changed everything.” Joe said impressed and confused. Barry stood up again catching Joe’s attention. Barry leans over the table and adjusts the remote and sits back down.

“I think maybe you should talk to someone about this.” Joe said and Barry looked at him confused.

“I don’t think I need to, but I will because it couldn’t hurt to.” Barry said. Joe spent a couple more hours and agreed Barry is to see a therapist once a week on Thursdays because Barry said it’s the good day of the week. Joe left and Barry re adjusted everything again and went to bed at 11:10 pm.

\---

The next morning Barry woke up early, and while filling his book bag his mind traveled to the sand. He picked up a dustpan and small handheld broom and packed them in. He made good time of not stepping on any lines. When facing the 16 squares of sand covered concrete he stopped walking. The same guy from the previous day was there again.

“Gonna walk across again?” he questions and Barry shakes my head, “You could just walk on the road.” He said and Barry  hummed before pulling the broom and dustpan out. The man gave an impressed hum and Barry began sweeping. He swept each square then the curb next to them. He waved to the guy standing there and continued on the way to work with the broom back in his bag and the dustpan full of sand in his left hand, to leave his right hand open for opening doors.

He entered CCPD and saw Captain Singh who looked up from the file in his hand to see Barry.

“Allen, you’re early. And you have, sand?” Singh questions eyes going to the dustpan.

“Uh, yeah. There was sand on the sidewalk yesterday and I don’t like walking on it because I can feel it under my feet. So I brought a broom and dustpan and swept it up.” Barry explained and Singh nodded, slightly confused. Barry continued his way up to the lab and dumped the sand in the small office like garbage can by his desk. He then fixed and arranges all the papers and straightens everything before starting the work day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry goes to therapy and talks to that guy.

_1736...1737...1738...1739...1740...1741...1742...1743...1744...1745...1746...1747...1748...1749...1750._ Barry subconsciously counted the tiles as he walked the halls towards the office at the end of the hall. He read the room number and entered, he saw the woman seated on the other side of the room by a unprofessional desk against the wall. Most the room was decorated as a living room, but one like Joe's or Iris'. Unorganized, not symmetrical, and off centered. Barry knew it wasn't his place so he wasn't urged to fix it, not much anyway. She gestured to the couch but Barry still stood.

"Okay, Barry. If you wish to take a seat you're welcome to. And you are here because your foster father is conceded about your ocd-like tendencies. But this doesn't concern you at all, is that correct?"

"Yeah, it hasn't bothered me. Only when things aren't correct I need to fix them." Barry explained and watched her write it down.

"What are things that bother you?"

"Things that are not symmetrical, walking on sand, turning door knobs once and not twice, I need to turn the lights off and on four times before leaving then either on or off, when things are not at a right angle to something else, off centered things, being late and I think that's it." Barry's explained getting a nod from the doctor. She wrote them down and continued looking at her paper for a few minutes. Barry listened the the clock ticking, watched how many times the capped end of the pen tap on the paper. When she finally looked up and stopped tapping she smiled.

"Okay, so your foster father was close, but you have what's often mistaken for ocd but is much more common and less surrounded in everything being clean and perfect but ocpd. It's more things have to be perfect but in a personalized way. How much money have you spent on fixing your place of residence?" She asked the smile now gone.

"$12,400 on my apartment. $3000 on my clothing." He said now noticing a small spot of pink lipstick on her teeth.

"Wow. So, how much of this room would you fix?" She then questions and Barry instantly glanced around. A few seconds later he began the list.

"The couches are both different sized, and none corresponding colors, the chair is a recliner so I'd replace it with a set chair, all the pillows are mismatched so those would be replaced. The carpet would have to go and a tapestry rug would be into he center of the room. Your desk is terribly messy, the coffee table is mostly glass which takes longer to clean and I'd replace with a walnut wood table. All the pictures are different heights and none are framed to match so they'd all be reframed and re hung at the same height. The books are organized by genre but aren't put in Dewey decimal system so I'd fix that. The walls are a dark color which isn't recommended for therapy so I'd color it to a light yellow. And you have lipstick on your teeth." Barry said and watched her follow along then quickly wipe her teeth with her finger. After that she told Barry she would prescribe him medication for his ocpd and he could chose if he wants to try to fix it or not. Barry says he is broken so he doesn't need fixing but takes the medication home anyways.

On the way to work the next morning he came across the guy from the the other day and stopped next to him. The man turned to him and just stared. It was fairly early so he knew he wasn't going to be late.

"The sand guy." Was the way he decided to greet Barry.

"Barry." Barry introduced and held out his hand.

"I'm still gonna call you sand guy, I'm Len." The stranger, Len, said back shaking Barry's hand. Barry was about to talk away when Len began to speak again.

"Ya got issues don't cha?" He asks and Barry felt insulted but appreciated the man speaking his mind.

"Personally I don't think so. My foster father sent me to therapy, got medicated for it so I guess, legally, I have issues." He said and Len nodded to him.

"We all got issues. Legally or not. I, for one, compulsively lie." He said with a smile.

"So is that a lie or?" Barry joked getting a chuckle from the man.

"You're funny. We should hang some time." Len replied and Barry nodded.

"I'd like that. How about Saturday?" Barry questioned and Len agreed. Barry continued on his way to work, still setting there early.

That Saturday, Len and Barry went to a diner for breakfast for dinner, one of the few stupid dinner ideas Barry actually enjoys, unlike surf n turf or steak n shake.(they are just stupid so, I'm not hating on steak I actually love steak, its just stupid names and weird mixes.) They had fun, Barry appreciated Len's understanding on keeping his plate across from Barry's and sitting right across from him. And Barry understood when Len lied he would furrow his brows for a second and glance to the right before speaking. Barry never brought up when he lied he just nodding letting him know he's not judging him for it.

They grew close fast. In the matter of days they were greeting each other every morning and and went for breakfast for dinner every Saturday. Barry continued going to therapy but he still didn't take the medication. It just sat in the cupboard unopened.


	3. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len confesses his feelings and Barry does the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I've been mia. The new house isn't going to have internet until next Thursday and I can't update with my data. I'll stay at my Dad's house for a couple days.
> 
> I'm a trashy person.

For the first time ever Barry had left CCPD for lunch. And the second, third, and fourth. Brining him here, across from Len in a diner he has never heard of, centering his plate and seeing Len repeat his actions. Only having been friends for a few weeks they know nearly everything about each other, and they had talked about everything you could think of, except one topic. But Len has the intentions of changing that today, during lunch.

Len watched as Barry ate in silence. Its kind of surprised him that Barry doesn't mind his food touching on his plate but he can't sit still when he sees someone's tag sticking out of their shirt. But either way Len continued to eat glancing up to Barry every once in a while, more like ever minute and a half.

"What's on your mind, Len?" Barry suddenly asked setting his fork down next to his plate making sure it was parallel to the side of the table.

"Nothing?" He lied in return but he knew Barry could tell when he lied, he isn't sure how he knows he just does.

"You've been looking at me every minute and a half, for the past twenty minutes, there is obviously something on your mind." Barry explained just waiting for Len to confess what it is.

"Well, I've been thinking about it for about a week. And I guess what I really want to say is I like you." Len said and Barry nodded.

"Well, thank you. I like you too. Your a good friend." Barry said with a smile but it faltered seeing a small expression pass over Len's face.

"Well, Barry. I like you as um more than a friend." Len said looking to the table his face flushing a dark red. He nervously tapped on the table. Barry was silent for a moment just staring at his friend as he grew more nervous. "I wasn't going to say anything because I'm not sure if you're single or not, and I don't know if you like guys. And I don't want to run you away, I like being your friend and if you don't feel the same I get it. I lie and I'm not always nice, but if you want to try then I'll try and if you just want to be friends I get it." Len rambled not watching Barry. Barry on the other hand stared at Len, he was not expecting that, who could like him like that? He's picky and needs everything perfect. The whole rant caught him off guard. Len wasn't lying he could see this is truly how Len felt about him. Barry was confused about his own feelings he knew he liked being around Len, but does he like as more than a friend? He could feel his heart rate picking and his palms get clammy every time he thought going for lunch or coffee was a date but then he decided it couldn't be.

Does Barry like Len as more than a friend? He watched Len expression almost as if it was slow motion, his eyebrows were furrowed in worry, his eyes hopeful but already sad, his lower lip caught between his teeth. Barry smiled wide and bright, he knew Len accepts him and all his quirks, he helps as much as he can when something isn't right. Len is perfect.

"Len, I like you as more than a friend too, I didn't realize it until now but, I would like to try." Barry said with a cheerful tone, Len sighed his facial expression instantly changing to happy.

"I was so nervous. Okay. Then. I gotta do this right. I'll be right back." Len said and stood up and adjusted the chair so it was directly across from Barry's and left the diner. He knows he only has so much time with Barry during lunch. So he rushes to the flower shop right next door and asked for eight perfect Iris'.

After several tries he got the flowers and paid running out of the shop and back to the diner and opened the door reentering the quiet room.

Barry heard the ding and looked up to the door seeing Len holding flowers in one hand, everyone was staring at the moment, Len walked over and Barry could see each flower was perfectly positioned, there are eight of them, iris' as well, Barry's favorite flower because they have four letters and are mostly symmetrical with an even amount of petals.

"Bartholomew Henry Allen, would you do me the honor of being my lovely boyfriend?" Len asked now standing next to Barry offering the flowers with his left hand holding out his right. Barry smiled and nodded gently taking the flowers with his right hand and holding Len's other hand with his left.

"Of course." Barry replied, he could see people around them clapping for the romantic scene played before them. He ignored them and stood up wrapping his arms around Len's shoulders. He hasn't hugged anyone lately as it felt awkward and incomplete, but with Len he didn't feel that. He could felt Len place two kisses on one of his cheeks, then he leaned to the other side and kiss that cheek twice as well.

A couple days after they officially began dating, Len said he had to bring Barry on an official first date. Which is on a Saturday, because that too is a good day to Barry. Len decided on bringing Barry to the observatory a couple towns over. He said he'd always wanted go but Joe said it was too expensive for a day.

Len made sure Barry wasn't looking upon arrival, he walked behind Barry covering his eyes as they got to the entrance, he sighed and pulled his hands away and Barry gasped.

"Len, wow. It's the first date Len, how are you going to outdo yourself now?" Barry asked Turing towards Len and grabbing his hands and pulling him close. They hadn't kissed yet but when they wanted to, but didn't won't to rush the other they would kiss each other's nose twice.

The date was amazing for Barry and thus is was amazing for Len. As they continued to go on dates Barry grew more and more infatuated with Len. Barry had planned their fourth date, a dinner date and he was smiling from ear to ear. They sat at a square table directly across from each other when they were about to get dessert Barry was listening to Len talk and he couldn't help but interrupt his boyfriend. Which caught Len off guard, Barry can't stand when he or anyone else around him is interrupted.

"Len?" Barry's voice soft, stopping Len mid sentence.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." Barry said, his eyes locked with Len's own icy blue stare. "If you uh, don't felt the same, I get it. But it's just I love you. And I don't know where I'd be without you. I'd probably be yelling at Joe again for trying to fix me when I'm not broken. Everyone else around me just doesn't get it. Captain Singh kind of likes it since I'm never late anymore and everything is turned in on time and is organized. But Joe and Iris don't get it. They think its weird and that something broke, I don't know what to do about it. But you, Len. You accept me, and I love you for it. But I also love you because of who you are, you are an amazingly handsome gentleman. You don't pretend to like something just because I like it. You like what you like and you aren't going to change for me, and I love that. I love you." Barry said and Len smiled at him.

"Barry, I love you too." Len said his eyes gleaming and his smile as bright as ever. Barry apologized for interrupting and let Len continue. As he listened he could feel his heart clench hearing Len speak. Hearing those words and seeing that smile with those eye. It could convince him. But his brow was furrowed, one tilting a touch above the other. He knew Len didn't feel the same way yet, but he didn't want to disappoint Barry by not saying it back. But it just gave Barry more hope and motivation after the hurt left. One day Len will say it back and mean it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um. I've decided this is going to get angsty.
> 
> And I'm terribly sorry this is such a shitty update


End file.
